Small MonkeySpace
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Introduction
Some of you may have heard of something called
'myspace'. With over 80 million registered users, it is
rapidly becoming the communication medium of
choice for the playstation generation. Guys don't
need to venture outside their house to try and meet
chicks anymore, they can just check out their profiles
online and send instant messages. And before you
say it, it was always guys trying to meet girls and get
their 'phone numbers; the girls didn't have to try, they
just had to show up. We've even overheard this
phenomenon in bars - people aren't giving out
numbers anymore, they're giving out myspace
profiles.
'myspace'. With over 80 million registered users, it is
rapidly becoming the communication medium of
choice for the playstation generation. Guys don't
need to venture outside their house to try and meet
chicks anymore, they can just check out their profiles
online and send instant messages. And before you
say it, it was always guys trying to meet girls and get
their 'phone numbers; the girls didn't have to try, they
just had to show up. We've even overheard this
phenomenon in bars - people aren't giving out
numbers anymore, they're giving out myspace
profiles.
| My phone-number? Dude, that is so 2005... |
So What?
A good question. The thing is, if you have seen myspace, you will probably have
noticed that the place is a frikkin mess. The generic profile templates are dull, the
banner ads are continuous and irritating, and there are about 6 million 'bots
crawling the place trying to entice you to sign up for their 'premium' services.
This isn't even the worst thing; tragically, it seems that there is quite an industry
growing with the sole purpose of helping the bewildered and inept to twist the CSS
coding of their space into ever more mind-mangling colour-schemes. Stroboscopic
avatars abound, section breaks are non-existent, table alignments are shot to hell
and don't even get me started on the bastard-son of text-talk that gets used all
over the place (we like to refer to this as 'twt txt').
noticed that the place is a frikkin mess. The generic profile templates are dull, the
banner ads are continuous and irritating, and there are about 6 million 'bots
crawling the place trying to entice you to sign up for their 'premium' services.
This isn't even the worst thing; tragically, it seems that there is quite an industry
growing with the sole purpose of helping the bewildered and inept to twist the CSS
coding of their space into ever more mind-mangling colour-schemes. Stroboscopic
avatars abound, section breaks are non-existent, table alignments are shot to hell
and don't even get me started on the bastard-son of text-talk that gets used all
over the place (we like to refer to this as 'twt txt').
Errm, Like We Said, So What?
We at Small Monkey Productions are fond of saying 'credit where it is due', and we
do think that there are some redeeming features to myspace. For example, it can
be a useful resource when tracking down old school or work friend. No longer do
you have to pay friends reunited $10 for the 'privilege' of sending email to
someone you already know ($10?!? WTF is that about?), you can search for them
free.
Also, if you ignore the plethora of 14 year olds trying to find their
local-friendly-neighbourhood crack dealer, there are other interesting people
about. If there is a band you are interested in, odds are that these days they will
have a myspace profile; Add them to your friend list, and you'll doubtless get
useful updates.
Best of all, if you're the sort of person that likes to send out huge-great rambling
emails to about a gazillion people, you can now just post myspace bulletins. Got a
blog? (Who hasn't? Oh, you. Sorry 'bout that) Shove it on myspace. If nothing
else, it gives people one centralised place where they can definitively ignore you,
which is an option too few people give to others these days.
do think that there are some redeeming features to myspace. For example, it can
be a useful resource when tracking down old school or work friend. No longer do
you have to pay friends reunited $10 for the 'privilege' of sending email to
someone you already know ($10?!? WTF is that about?), you can search for them
free.
Also, if you ignore the plethora of 14 year olds trying to find their
local-friendly-neighbourhood crack dealer, there are other interesting people
about. If there is a band you are interested in, odds are that these days they will
have a myspace profile; Add them to your friend list, and you'll doubtless get
useful updates.
Best of all, if you're the sort of person that likes to send out huge-great rambling
emails to about a gazillion people, you can now just post myspace bulletins. Got a
blog? (Who hasn't? Oh, you. Sorry 'bout that) Shove it on myspace. If nothing
else, it gives people one centralised place where they can definitively ignore you,
which is an option too few people give to others these days.
So What Can be Done?
Bearing all of this in mind, and coupled with the fact that a site with 80million users
would be an ideal place to try and bleed some extra traffic from, the small monkey
got out his CSS style guide and extra large coffee mug. Having looked at the
source code for your average myspace page, he then threw the style guide away
and added a large measure of JD to his coffee.
This wasn't going to be pretty.
would be an ideal place to try and bleed some extra traffic from, the small monkey
got out his CSS style guide and extra large coffee mug. Having looked at the
source code for your average myspace page, he then threw the style guide away
and added a large measure of JD to his coffee.
This wasn't going to be pretty.
| Monkey Wisdom Corner |
| Here's a hint: if your profile says you are a 19 year old female, your user name includes the strings 'hottie', 'cutie' or 'nekkid', and you have 5273 listed friend who are all male - we're going to notice that you are in fact a spambot. |