New Year's Resolutions
A Sure-fire Plan
Apparently, some of the most popular resolutions involve
losing weight, getting fitter and the like. Subscriptions to
gyms, weight-loss clubs etc etc go through the roof in
January; this is largely because people are under the
delusion that they can make life-changing decisions (and
stick with them) after several hours of drinking.
By the Small Monkey
Gym memberships cost money, so do weight-loss club
subscriptions. We at Small Monkey Productions feel it
unfair that you, the discerning punter, should be fleeced of
your hard-earned cash like this. After all, that is what our
various products and services are for. Therefore, we are
pleased to offer you free, gratis, and completely without
strings:
The Small Monkey Guaranteed Weight Loss Plan
So there you go - a guaranteed weight loss (and general
muscle tone improvement plan) for no cash at all.
You're welcome.
Just follow these simple steps:
1. Eat less.
2. Do more exercise.
Note:
In the event that you find yourself without the necessary
willpower and motivation to carry out this plan, rest
assured that paying your local gym $50 a month to learn
precisely the same thing is far more painful. Once
again, you're welcome.