Clones-4-U
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
Features:
- Swiss Laboratories
- Unquestioning Loyalty
- Completely Legal
- Prices from $2500.00
| SPECIAL OFFER! Triplets sound like fun? Buy two, and get the third free!!! |
| Get the Offspring You Deserve! |
Here at Clones-4-U we are delighted to be able to offer a complete
package to cater for all of your cloning needs.
Following painstaking research, our state-of-the-art laboratories are
able to create viable clones from the smallest of DNA samples; no
longer do you have to lop off a foot or ear to provide sufficient viable
material, a simple strand of hair will now suffice. In fact, our
techniques are so advanced, that we are now able to offer a
submit DNA via email service.
On receipt of your DNA sample (and clearance of your funds) we will
assign an individual specialist to your case. He (or she) will lovingly
nurture your DNA, until it is strong enough to undergo our patented
‘DNA-O-Matic’ process. The precise details are difficult to convey to
the lay-person, particularly those that have an IQ in our target
demographic for this service; therefore, simply rest assured that
‘weird-science-stuff’ will be done that will put those super-keratin-
lipid-hydroxy-shampoo adverts you keep seeing to shame.
Your tiny clone will be nurtured in a special nutrient mix of swarfega
and peanut butter until it is able to fend for itself. For a small extra
fee we will teach it a second language in addition to the default
English.
Due to legal constraints, your clone will be released from our
laboratory just after you have, sadly, passed away (our
condolences). In order that your clone be given the best possible
start in life, we recommend that you bequeath all of your assets to
us; we will pass them on to your clone once he (or she) is at the
requisite age. As part of our on-going Commitment to Service,
Clones-4-U makes no charge for this service.
Terms and conditions apply*. Continue...
package to cater for all of your cloning needs.
Following painstaking research, our state-of-the-art laboratories are
able to create viable clones from the smallest of DNA samples; no
longer do you have to lop off a foot or ear to provide sufficient viable
material, a simple strand of hair will now suffice. In fact, our
techniques are so advanced, that we are now able to offer a
submit DNA via email service.
On receipt of your DNA sample (and clearance of your funds) we will
assign an individual specialist to your case. He (or she) will lovingly
nurture your DNA, until it is strong enough to undergo our patented
‘DNA-O-Matic’ process. The precise details are difficult to convey to
the lay-person, particularly those that have an IQ in our target
demographic for this service; therefore, simply rest assured that
‘weird-science-stuff’ will be done that will put those super-keratin-
lipid-hydroxy-shampoo adverts you keep seeing to shame.
Your tiny clone will be nurtured in a special nutrient mix of swarfega
and peanut butter until it is able to fend for itself. For a small extra
fee we will teach it a second language in addition to the default
English.
Due to legal constraints, your clone will be released from our
laboratory just after you have, sadly, passed away (our
condolences). In order that your clone be given the best possible
start in life, we recommend that you bequeath all of your assets to
us; we will pass them on to your clone once he (or she) is at the
requisite age. As part of our on-going Commitment to Service,
Clones-4-U makes no charge for this service.
Terms and conditions apply*. Continue...
1 There wasn’t much of it, but it hurt.
2 Choose from American, British, Australian and Dirka-dirkastani.
3 And because we really couldn’t keep a straight face if we charged for it.
2 Choose from American, British, Australian and Dirka-dirkastani.
3 And because we really couldn’t keep a straight face if we charged for it.
| We give free advice. Therefore, we do not feel unduly hampered by the need to be accurate. |
Terms and Conditions
* By using this service, you are signifying you understand that, notwithstanding
the fact that you may be one of the least benightedly unintelligent persons it
has ever been our profound lack of displeasure not to be able to avoid doing
business with, Clones-4-U will not actually carry out any of the processes
detailed above. To be honest, we’re going to take your money and laugh at
you, and if we can get away with it we’re going to take your kids’ inheritance
too. The most you can hope for is that we’ll occasionally send you a grainy
photo’ of a Chihuahua in a bath of swarfega and peanut butter. We’re
gambling on the fact that you are too lazy to read all the way down to here, or
have left you reading glasses at home (but not your credit card). Take comfort
in the fact that the gene-pool is a better place without you.
the fact that you may be one of the least benightedly unintelligent persons it
has ever been our profound lack of displeasure not to be able to avoid doing
business with, Clones-4-U will not actually carry out any of the processes
detailed above. To be honest, we’re going to take your money and laugh at
you, and if we can get away with it we’re going to take your kids’ inheritance
too. The most you can hope for is that we’ll occasionally send you a grainy
photo’ of a Chihuahua in a bath of swarfega and peanut butter. We’re
gambling on the fact that you are too lazy to read all the way down to here, or
have left you reading glasses at home (but not your credit card). Take comfort
in the fact that the gene-pool is a better place without you.
| Monkey Wisdom Corner |
1
2
3